Look, I have no interest in having the Professor Louis “Pearly” Gates issue  blow over. I know it’s petty and trivial, but that’s what I like about it. I mean, it’s like . . . well, it’s like I want this silly crap to distract Obummer’s ability to stuff a flaky budget-busting gummint health care plan down the throats of protesting Americans!

And if we didn’t have this trumped up idiocy to irritate and bumfuzzle him, I’d be the first to try to get him distracted by something else. Anything else.

There’s another thing. When someone says, “Hey, let’s move on,” it doesn’t show he’s being magnanimous (whatever that means), it really is hard proof that he knows his argument is shot full of holes and he’s embarrassed at what he started but can’t finish. Okay? Well, that’s what Pearly said, in so many words.

Then, our President-in-Chief, who tried to laugh the whole shemozzle off, turned on his best smile (only because his trusty teleprompter said “Smile Now”) and just pretended he’d be buddies with the combatants, or litigants, or whatever they may eventually turn out to be.

And then, for gosh sakes, the leader of the Free World said he thought he could broker a cease-fire if Sgt. Crowley and Pearly would come over to the White House for a beer. Is that rich? I mean, the Obummers are set to go off on a vacation fit for royalty at Blue Heron Farm on Martha’s Vineyard. You can reserve the 28.5-acre retreat for only $35,000 to $50,000 per week.

A news story said the First Family definitely plans to rent the property. Actually, the Obamas plan for us to rent the property, and, speaking for all Americans, I can truthfully say that they deserve the best – our failing, debt-ridden, jobless economy notwithstanding. But listen, these dudes live high. Michele, a fashion maven, has a reported twenty staff assistants who cater to her every whim. One of the lowest paid indentured servants is named Sally M. Armbuster, and she gets $36,000 salary. I think she’s underpaid. Rahm Emanuel has the same job, and he pulls down $172,200, at least according to Mrs. Emanuel. Really? Is he married? I’ll have to get back to you on that. I didn’t check it out.

But where was I? Oh yeah, Baroque had invited Sgt. Crowley and Pearly Gates to the White House for a beer. What? Given the president’s taste for the opulent, as long as somebody else is picking up the check, he should dig a little deeper, and maybe even break for a case of Dom Perignon each for Pearly and the Sarge. I mean get real! You can steal a bottle of this bubbly – vintage 1971 – for a modest $1,153 US if you play your cards right – maybe even less on Shopzilla. And I can’t guess what a deal you could get if you have friends on the black market. (Take it easy, I don’t mean to offend, okay?)

Anyway, let’s say they get together – President Obummer, Professor Pearly Gates, and Sergeant Crowley. What then? Can’t you just see it? The three of them sitting on the grass in the Rose Garden, and Barry axes, “Can’t we all just get along?” Crowley says, “I’ll call it even if Pearly will just pass the church key.” Gates, a black man (look, I just threw that in because it might offend Al Sharpton) retorts, “I will, law dawg, if you’ll get me out of these &%#@?! handcuffs! And don’t ever jive me about a key again. I hate keys to heck.”

Crowley (a white cop, once accused of being a racist) apparently forgot it was 2009. Twist-off tops on beer bottles had rendered the beloved church key obsolete. The president -- always the conciliator, delegator and cogitater -- calls Hillary on his Raspberry and tells her to be in the Rose Garden in ten minutes to mediate a squabble “And bring some 8-8-8 fertilizer for Michele’s vegetable garden,” the leader of the Free World snapped.

I don’t know if Hillary obeyed this order. She’s got a lot on her mind too. She vows she won’t run for president, so that means she probably will. And her personal life is rumored to be coming under scrutiny. Hillary, who’s pretty sharp, dispelled the rumors when she is said to have said, “I did not have sex with that man, Mr. Clinton.”  She also seems suspicious of Sally Armbuster. Can’t blame her for that. Hillary went through a lot of pain with that arm.

I’m tired of this story and have to bring it to a close. And I know you must feel the same way. Bottom line is, I hope that the dust-up between Sergeant Crowley and Professor Henry Louis “Pearly”Gates goes into extra innings. It’s the only way I know of to keep Baroque busy so America’s health care can stay healthy.

Here’s how Newsmax described it:

“The police officer at the center of a national racial firestorm triggered by President Barack Obama told an interviewer Thursday that he had nothing to apologize for in the arrest of a black Harvard scholar, and that the president he didn’t vote for should have more carefully considered his words.”

Am I liking this? I think it’s hilarious.

And Newsmax did some more digging, showing yet again how petty our Big Man Obama can be, and how hypocritical he is:

“One reason Barack Obama may have been so critical of the Cambridge Police Department is that he might have a grudge against the law enforcement agency.

“Obama, who attended Harvard Law School from 1988 to 1991, lived in Cambridge and apparently didn't like the fact he was frequently hit with parking tickets.

“In all, Obama received 17 tickets for parking violations, and he did not pay 15 of them until a local newspaper exposed him as a scofflaw.”

It’s clear that Barry didn’t settle accounts because he felt guilty. Or because he feared that if he failed to live up to his obligations, he might be deprived of his fourteen virgins when he croaks. No, the timing is too incriminating. He didn’t really get a desperate case of honesty until his presidential campaign launched in 2007.

Whatever the case, Obama didn’t hesitate to rush to the defense of idiotic Hahvahd perfesser Henry Louis Gates Jr. who was arrested for being a disrespectful jerk after he broke into his own house.

No, of course the door wasn’t jammed. Teacher had just returned from China, where he soaked up too much Maotai (been there, done that). It’s the PRC’s official drunk juice (or for those of you, and there are many, who don’t understand English and don’t want to: (Máotái jiu). This pecadillo caused Henry to get such a helluva headache that he dropped his house key into the Yangtze while trying to hand it to a comely lass from Shanghai, and the next thing he knew when he came to he was looking into the steely eyes of Sgt. Crowley of the Cambridge police force. The rest is history.

As you know, the perfesser’s neighbors had called the police to announce that some dolt was breaking the door down to get into Gates’ rented home. Heck, if that happened at my house, I’d be delighted if someone tipped off the cops.

But Henry, who was the aforementioned dolt, far from being grateful (at the admitted mistake – heck, the neighbors just wanted to help out) blazed off impetuously at Sgt. Crowley to the extent that the officer slapped the cuffs on Gates and hauled him off to the pokey.

Fast forward to President Obama’s “news” conference, where, in response to a question, our First Mate, understandably non-plussed because Robert Gibbs had not put a coherent answer up on the teleprompter, blabbed that the Cambridge law man – a white American male or WAM – was “stupid”.

Are you loving this? Obama is supposed to be settling the national debt, protecting the border, giving us all free health care, getting the New Jersey mayors out of jail, and finding out why Hillary is all of a sudden so frisky.

But instead the president is focusing the awesome power of America’s liberal press on a little local dust-up in the innocuous village of Cambridge, and turning it into an international brouhaha.

There is some speculation that Obama, commander in chief of the U.S. Armed Forces, might employ the discredited Lockheed Martin/Boeing F-22 Raptor, a fifth generation fighter aircraft that uses stealth technology, to drop water balloons on the Cambridge police headquarters building.

“We’re not shelling out any more money we borrowed from China to pay for this big ol’ airplane, so we might as well get some use out of it to spook Sgt. Crowley,” the president is said to have said.

Let’s go ahead and play this thing out. Fox News says that the last round in this beautiful saga came when Sgt. Crowley, now incensed at all the flap, responded.

Said the Fox news organization: “The police officer who arrested a Harvard professor for disorderly conduct said Thursday he wants President Obama, who is the educator's friend, to butt out of the incident.”

And now there’s word that Officer Crowley may sue somebody over the whole sorry mess. Who? Well, I’m not really sure. At press time the possible defendants might be President Obama, Joe Biden, or Sen. Stuart Smalley.

If it’s President Obama, there is a rumor that he will freeze things until Judge Sodomayor is confirmed, because she always votes against the white guys.

“I can’t take a chance on having my Harvard degree impugned by a black professor who is mad because I can’t make a white Cambridge cop shut up,” our USA president is said to have said.

Is it over? Not until the fat lady sings. Aretha Franklin is booked up until 2012.

Why would Richard Cheney want to keep top secret intelligence from Democrats? Because top party leaders have shown themselves to be unfaithful to U.S. needs, untrustworthy where our security is concerned, and psychotically partisan in matters regarding our plans, objectives and procedures in global affairs!

But our stupid liberal media disregard the dismal track record of many of our duplicitous Democratic bigwigs who exhibit puzzling tendencies to leak classified information to the press, thus endangering U.S. covert operations.

I have a lot going on in my life right now, so am limited on the opportunity to do in-depth research, but it doesn’t take much effort to locate information about the sneaky, underhanded dirty tricks of people who claim to be solid Americans.

All you have to do is Google up something along the lines of “Democrats leak top secret information to press”. There’s plenty to choose from. I just pulled out a short list, which I want to quickly mention here. There’s a goldmine of this scandalous blabber-mouthing by Democrats – which needs to be brought to the light of day. Please help me do it.  

Toronto Sun columnist Rachel Marsden lamented the takeover of both houses of the U.S. Congress. “She compared voting out the Republicans and voting in the Democrats to firing your babysitter and hiring Michael Jackson.”

Carrying this absurdity to the next level, political writer Jim Kouri delivered a broadside at the man he called Senator Patrick “Leaky” Leahy. Kouri is currently a vice president of the National Association of Chief of Police. He writes and appears on national news shows such as CNN Headline News, MTV, Fox News, and others.

He impressed me with his insight, candor, and grasp of the facts in a copyrighted article first published in 2006:

“When I watched U.S. Supreme Court confirmation process for nominee Judge Samuel Alito, a shiver went up and down my spine as I listened to Democrat Senator Patrick “Leaky” as he discussed the NSA top secret operations. At the start of that hearing, Senator Arlen Specter (RINO-PA) mentioned the expected hearings on the NSA spy program and it hit me that the biggest leaker in Washington, DC would be involved in investigating top secret information.

“While I’m certain the members of big media are overjoyed at the prospect of being spoon fed little tidbits of classified information by the left-wing Senator from Vermont, most intelligence and law enforcement officials are concerned about having a man – who admits if he disagrees with a classified operation he will spill the beans – given complete access to secrets.”

Leahy’s penchant for exposing U.S. intelligence secrets was also lambasted by former special forces officer and columnist George Metcalf:

“Senator Pat Leahy was annoyed with the Reagan administration’s war on terrorism in the 1980s. At the time he was vice chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee. Therefore, ‘Leaky Leahy’ threatened to sabotage classified strategies he didn’t like. Leahy ‘inadvertently’ disclosed a top-secret intercept during a 1985 television interview. The intercept had made possible the capture of the Arab terrorists who had hijacked the cruise ship Achille Lauro and murdered American citizens.

“In July 1987, it was reported that Leahy leaked secret information about a 1986 covert operation planned by the Reagan administration to topple Libya’s Moammar Gaddhafi. US intelligence officials stated that Leahy sent a written threat to expose the operation directly to then-CIA Director William Casey. Weeks later, news of the secret plan turned up in the Washington Post, causing it to be aborted.

“In the immediate aftermath of the terrorist attacks of September 11, Leahy headed the Senate’s negotiations on the 2001 anti-terrorism bill, the USA Patriot Act. He was more concerned with protecting the civil liberties of the enemy than providing protection for Americans.”

Here’s just one more example of how left-wing Democrats continue to play fast and loose with sensitive U.S. military and intelligence secrets. This excerpt is from a recent story in The Chicago Tribune”

“A senior U.S. lawmaker said that unmanned CIA Predator aircraft operating in Pakistan are flown from an airbase inside that country, a revelation likely to embarrass the Pakistani government and complicate its counterterrorism collaboration with the United States.

“The disclosure by Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.), the chairwoman of the Senate Intelligence Committee, marked the first time a U.S official had publicly commented on where the Predator aircraft patrolling Pakistan take off and land.

“At a hearing, Feinstein expressed surprise at Pakistani opposition to the ongoing campaign of Predator-launched CIA missile strikes against Al Qaeda targets along Pakistan’s northwest border.

“As I understand it, these are flown out of a Pakistani base,” she said of the planes.

You know what, my TH friends and associates? This kind of sophomoric crap by elected officials who should know better – and probably do – just totally makes me sick!

It’s no wonder Richard Cheney has kept super-secret security information from certain of our “leaders” – Democrats who abuse their privilege and spill classified information with impunity.

These people are scary. They are traitors. And they are not to be trusted. That’s why secrets are kept secret from them. They don’t deserve to know.