The U.S. Supreme Court has ruled 5-4 that profanity on U.S. broadcast television won’t be tolerated anymore. Violators will be persecuted. No, that’s not it – violators will be prosecuted – fined, as it were, for using naughty words.

Suits me. Most television has a heavy smut factor anyway, and cleaning up the cussing might give the airwaves a little class for a change.

But I have one gripe about this development. It will prevent me from going on the networks to express my true feelings about the audacious move by Senator Arlo Sphincter, whose defection weakens GOP ability to hold the Democrats in check at least some of the time. Power corrupts? I think so. And this kind of partisan power is scary.  

Anyway, here is how this weenie justified his decision in a statement to the press:

“I have been comfortable being a Republican, but my Party has not defined who I am. I don't have much of a clue myself. It’s going to be even worse now that I have sold them out and moved back to the far left where all my good buds reside. I have taken each issue one at a time, and done what I thought was best for me and my cronies. I believe I have been consistent in this regard.

“Since my election in 1980, as part of the Reagan Big Tent, the Republican Party has moved far to the right. I have been so lonely out there. Besides that, Ronnie isn’t around anymore to scold me, so I said what the heck, let’s bust a move.

“Last year, more than 200,000 Republicans in Pennsylvania changed their registration to become Democrats. Do the math. No way I could stick with that stodgy old hoard of GOP tightwads, sexual prudes and enemies of Cuba and our beloved United Nations.

“When I supported the spendulus package, I knew it would get my behind in a rumpus with my old Republican cohorts. But the way I figured, I would make lots of points with the real players in the political schmooze game up here. You gotta do what you gotta do.

“Now I face the future with confidence that I can win in a general election without having to stoop to the humiliation of being in a mud-wrestling primary which I am sure to lose. And I understand that. Why would voters in the GOP hang with a guy who can’t be trusted? But I still have hope that Mitch McConnell, Rush and Newt will invite me back to our Saturday night barbecues which we all used to enjoy together.

“I am not making this decision because there are no important and interesting opportunities outside the Senate. I am doing it because there’s more easy money when you’re on the public dole instead of having to gamble on making it out there where people don’t get paid unless they deserve it.

Finally, remember this – I know I will -- my change in party affiliation does not mean that I will be a party-line voter any more for the Democrats that I have been for the Republicans. Like always, I’ll be in there chugging along for old Number One. And if the crowd I’m joining up with gets a little nervous over that, I promise you this – I’ll be back. Just leave the light on for me.”

*** THE PREVIOUS FALLACIOUS PRESENTATION BEARS NO RESEMBLANCE TO STUFF SAID BY ANY ACTUAL PERSON LIVING OR DEAD, AS FAR AS I KNOW. IF IT DOES, WELL I’M SORRY.  

Marc Morano is managing editor of a new no-holds-barred Web site that seems destined to become the worst nightmare of our elitist global warming conspirators. I do hope that my excitement over the debut of this meteorological news source is justified. If need equates to realization, those of us who deplore the fantasies and folly of the wide-eyed left-wing radical set will not be disappointed.

The banner under which this potent new global warming debunker will be launched is “ClimateDepot.com”. It is the brainchild of an organization named the “Committee for a Constructive Tomorrow (CFACT), which touts the site as “the most comprehensive information center for climate and energy news and information.”

Works for me. Sounds like the answer to a prayer. Morano postulated that ClimateDepot.com will offer U.S. and global Internet communities a side of the climate debate that hasn’t been clearly enunciated as yet.

He promises “an alternative to the mainstream media and the environmental pablum they serve up to their viewers and readers every single day.”

In my book, nothing could be finer. The global warming charade sickens me with its snide leftist dogma and claims of man-made catastrophes. The thing is, eminent scientists (among which I do not number) convince me that it is relatively easy to debunk the charges that modern civilization – its admitted demand for energy, the pollution thus generated, and the dependence on fossil fuels – is the root cause of an alleged cycle of upward spiraling temperatures that will swamp coastal cities, melt polar ice, and doom us all.

I do know that long climate change cycles are documented. No argument there. But I am suspicious of the claim, enunciated with evangelical fervor by the likes of Al Gore, that a warming cycle (if indeed there is one, and this is challenged too by some scientific temperature charts) is driven by man and the industrialized societies that continue to proliferate.

If you have any interest in pulling the plug on this left-wing conspiracy hiding behind a green mask, look no further than some of the recent pronouncements by our president. You know who I’m talking about.

Well, this guy, who seems predisposed to signing onto any scheme that will placate our “friends” in Western Europe, and who stands on foreign soil as he calls his own countrymen “arrogant” – this guy is proving to be the loose cannon that many suspected he would be.

The most telling thing about Obama’s “concern” over the plight of the planet is his naïve belief that pollution, which unquestionably exists, can be reduced by cracking down on Western countries – notably the U.S., of course – while giving a pass to renegade despotic societies like China, one of the most notorious industrial polluters in history. Ain’t going to work.

But back to the ray of factual sunlight promised by Marc Morano and his inspired Internet creation, ClimateDepot.com. While he does have his detractors, who call Morano’s content “disinformation”, why don’t we give it awhile and see if the leftwingers squeal even louder?

If they do, ClimateDepot.com is working. And I’m on board.  

He is hooked up to render the May commencement address at Notre Dame, U.S. campus bastion of the Roman Catholic Church.

We all know the reputation of the Fighting Irish – smash-mouth football, green beer and a rock-solid opposition to abortion.

I like and respect Notre Dame athletics, and pull for them whenever they’re playing a team that’s not from North Carolina. The green beer? It’s a goofy novelty. In a bar with poor lighting it could be brown or any other color.

But abortion? And the Catholic respect for life of the unborn and all the rest of us? God bless South Bend, Knute Rockne and the Pope.

Notre Dame has won its reputation fair and square as a fortress against the snarling hoardes of pro-choice. And I salute the Irish Catholics for their stand. Look, if you were resting in your mama’s womb waiting for the call to vacate, which city would you rather be in – South Bend or San Francisco? See what I mean?  

So our quirky president, after rocking the free world in London, Paris and elsewhere, has slipped under the moral radar and is going to campaign at Notre Dame. Why? As he has pointed out to us – he won! And so he presses on.

But I feel more comfortable with a less ostentatious display of ecumenical enthusiasm, preferring to offer most of my prayers and worship to the Lord in a more personal and subdued (do not read “less sincere or heartfelt”) way and getting my work-outs in at another time. It’s just the way I like it, and I think that’s okay with God.

But, hey, where did we leave President Obama? Turkey? Well he was in Turkey, as you know. Come to think of it, the man actually is a turkey! Progg? How the heck do you spell that place? Wherever. He was out there defusing our nukes while generously letting all the world’s thugs keep theirs. And since he was kind enough to point out that we are the only ones to have popped an atomic bomb on another country in war, I figure he’s probably suggesting that somebody else ought to at least have the next turn.

But I’ll be danged if I like that idea. Frankly, I don’t really know what our Maximum Leader was saying anyway. I rarely do. I do know that he offers a lot of variety in his speechifying, because since he was coronated, he has not repeated any comments he made during the seventeen years of his campaign.

I’m sorry. I do this every time. The president confuses me so much that I rarely stay on topic, so that by the end of my brief allotted time, I have lost my place on the teleprompter and drifted totally away from where I set out to go. If you’re still with me, pal, it’s you that missed the exit, not me.

But look, like the President has insisted with such eloquence, “I may be wrong, but I’m not far from it.” Oh, yeah. I gotta quit. I want to stop writing before you stop reading. God bless you, good friends.

YUK YUX: He never met a stranger, preferring to hang with people he already knew.   

The nation is changing. The world as well. It's 2009. Ronald Reagan is gone. Jesse Helms is gone. William F. Buckley is gone. Values are being warped. Morals are eroding. Instant information means nothing stands still. Realities morph before our eyes. What we knew ten minutes ago doesn't exist anymore. It's dizzying. But somehow we have to keep up.

Rant Brazen at your service. I think it was Skep41 who said that new blogs are scarce these days. Heck, Skep, these are lean times, you know? There's a dang shortage of everything. He also suggested that we, the harried hoardes of Bobbieville, are getting satisfied with Barocco Bomber. Well, I know Skep, and you know Skep, and he doesn't really believe that. There's just too much bone here to gnaw on.
 
Two reasons I have not offered up any deathless prose of late. One is I have had a ball promoting a friend of mine -- 88, deaf, and a flat-out great artist. But he has never presented his work to the public. So it was easy stirring up a lot of attention for him in the media. During my working years, that is how I made my grocery money, as a publicist and public relations hack. Working in politics much of the time, I had become adept enough at my trade (some call it a profession, others a racket) that I could quietly produce stories and get them in the media, then disappear before anyone knew where they had come from. I was a stealth bomber. If anyone knew I was behind the story, I had failed. I got famous for being unknown.